Everyone in GSE knows
me as a shabby Mother Monkey from this cartoon. Mainly dressed in the first
things found in the wardrobe with stains of infant milk, panda eyes and greasy
hair, I rarely manage to look as appropriate as my group mates. Despite that,
everyone always sympathizes me, asking how I manage to study at NUGSE having
two naughty boys and living with parents-in-law. Easy. And I am not the only
one. Let me introduce the women, who manage to lead both family and work lives,
in Kazakhstan.
Professor Aliya
Kuzhabekova is the best model of Kazakh Mrs. Congeniality. Having three little children she is currently
teaching the Master students as well as conducting the research in higher
education field of Kazakhstan. Emphasizing her growing
problem-solving capacity with every child, she expressed her gratitude towards her mother's and husbands support. Her case proves that career for
mothers is not a burden; instead, it is a remedy for “recuperation” (A.
Kuzhabekova, personal communication, March 24, 2015).
Professor Lynne Parmenter, another NUGSE faculty member, become a mother fastly on the heels after the university graduation; she
never took maternity as an encumbrance to build a robust career. One big
advantage she found is the independence, most children might lack because of
superfluously caring mothers, which made her children more responsible and
confident. What is marvel, children might also benefit from seeing their
mothers feeling stress because of the heavy workload, as they learn the meaning
of hard work (L. Parmenter, personal communication, March 26, 2025).
Karakat Abildina is a
mother of four boys. Being a famous Kazakh folk singer, she also managed to
open a studio school of Kazakh folk music. Therefore, we can call her our
colleague, as we know that directing the whole school is not that easy.
Being a mother of a boy
is both challenging and amazing. Tolkyn Zabirova is really fortunate to have as
many as three boys. Beyond that, our amber nightingale is a famous opera and
pop singer in Central Asia (Aliya, 2014).
Unfortunately, nowadays
girls accept maternity either as a burthen or as an impediment from the career
and even society. However, maternity teaches to appreciate and luxuriate in every
moment of life (Perige, 2012). In addition, mothers are ten times more
organized and quick than soldiers! Motherhood is also a great remedy from
stress and quarrels with a husband, because there is simply no time for
arguments and stress. Consequently, mothers are ten times more patient and
stress-proof than camels! Professor Kuzhabekova defines working mothers as the
women lucky to have the best and the worst of both worlds (personal
communication, March 24, 2015). Why not to try then? Vivat Mother Tigers, I
dare to say the best and the happiest women, of Kazakhstan!
References
Aliya. (2014). TOP 5: Izvestnye i mnogodetnye mamochki
KZ [Top 5 famous mothers of many children in Kazakhstan]. Pandaland. Retrieved from http://www.pandaland.kz/blogs/mamam-o-mamah/super-mamy/11798/
Perige, V. (2012). Molodye i uspeshnye mnogodetnye
mamy [Young and successful mothers of many children]. Cosmopolitan. Retrieved
from http://cosmo.kz/tvoya_zhizn/stil_zhizni/26078/?ELEMENT_ID=26078&SHOWALL_1=1
Malika, thank you very much for an interesting post!
ReplyDeleteWhen we face such things as maternity or work overload sometimes it might make us "quit the game" or forsake our goals.
However, there are quite enough role models as Aliya Kuzhabekova, Karakat Abildina, and Tolkyn Zabirova mentioned in your post who are successful both in their family life and career life.
There are not few mothers studying at GSE. I believe that their families make them stronger, more ambitious and encourage them to go further, but not restrict their opportunities as many other people believe and are afraid of.
Arailym thank you for your info. Actually, I thought there are not many mothers in GSE, but now I am really glad to find out that there are! There is every hope that society perception of mothers is gradually changing, giving a chance to very talented mothers to make their professional dreams come true. One thing left is, support from the government. Although there are many kindergartens, the number of creches is limited. In addition, caregivers (or nannies) are not provided with enough qualification opportunities. Hopefully, these issues will be solved in the near future.
DeleteThat is a very thought-provoking post, thanks for sharing it with us. Interestingly, one of our group mates actually conducting her research on challenges and coping strategies of NU MSc students being mothers at the same time. It would be very interesting to know her findings. Your comparison of mothers and camels put a smile on my face)
ReplyDeleteYou made a very critical statement that young women nowadays choose either career or maternity, because there is a common belief that it is very challenging or even impossible to combine both. Either you are a good mom or you are a good employee/professional. However, from the examples you have provided we see that it is not the case. The main issue here is the support, understanding and help moms receive from parents, husband, and employer. Being a mom of one y.o. daughter and continuing my studies, the main challenge for me is the time-management and time-prioritizing.
My dear comrade-in-arms,
DeleteI am so glad you liked this post. I know about the research concerning working mothers and think it should be published, regardless the results. It was really difficult to find scholar resources about working mothers in Kazakhstan. Therefore, I had to use the articles from magazines, as you might have already noticed.
I mentioned the young women to try to change for one more time my group mates' perception about the motherhood. Unfortunately, most of them are either afraid of the marriage, or the workload of the working mother. Let us hope that this post will somehow help them. Fingers cross.
Dear Malika, thank you! This is a very interesting topic and reality which makes every woman to think. Most women consider that handling both mathernity and study/career is very complicated. My relatives always say me to finish the study firstly, make some career and then plan a marriage and maternity. Of course, motherhood is not easy as everyone thinks, and this is the hardest profession, especially when they have more than one child. Being a mother means combining all professions together like cook, waitress, assistent, nurse, teacher, etc. Conversely, when women become mothers they are more hardworking, tireless and studious than before. Your post about successful mothers breaks this commonsense belief about maternity. Motherhood is a certainly motivation, happiness with pleasant ado!
ReplyDeleteDear Almazhay, I am glad you found the post useful. However, it is going to be updated. I strongly recommend you to read the updated version, then you will be completely positive about your capacities to become a working/studying mother. Good luck in the future!
DeleteInteresting topic, Malika. The support and depth of evidence you give with examples from GSE staff and other women is impressive.
ReplyDeleteOne note about parallelism in your writing style:
Ex. 1) "Mainly dressed in the first things found in the wardrobe, with stains of infant milk, panda eyes and greasy hair.." Be careful to separate ideas in an identical way. This could be read that your clothes have stains of milk, stains of panda eyes, and stains of greasy hair. Rewrite to make your list either all about you or all about the clothes.
Ex. 2) "She kindly shared her recipe for success, magnanimous support from her mother and a husband, and emphasized her growing problem-solving capacity with every child." Again, this could be read as she shared her magnanimous support from her mother. If you aren't trying to create a parallel structure, separate these big sentences into two smaller ones.
Malika, you are one of my favourite bloggers. I like the topics you choose and the way you connect them with your life experience.
ReplyDeleteYou also choose catchy pictures and titles to your posts. This post of yours is interesting and impressive as the previous ones. I could not help commenting on this post because it provoked my inspiration to be more optimistic towards performing a dual role and enjoy the happiness of motherhood. From the life experiences of such women we can benefit substantially which in turn can serve as an inspiration as well. Being a pregnant student, I was hesitating to continue my studies at GSE or to take a maternity leave but with the support of Professor Lynn Parmenter and my thesis supervisor Aisi Li I decided to finish my studies. Hopefully, I will be able to complete my master's course successfully.
My favourite comrade-in-arms Zhadyra,
DeleteDO NOT ever think of dropping out the masters course! remember a good Kazakh saying "Қырқына шыдап, қырық біріне шыдамайсын ба?" (If you reached the forty, you can reach the forty first). Fortunately you have helpful group mates and supporting teachers. In addition, my son comes up to me when he sees me tired to endow me with his superpower, giving a kiss. Our children are our power. WE CAN DO IT!
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ReplyDeleteDear Malika,
ReplyDeleteVery encouraging post indeed. Thank you for sharing. I really liked the way you presented this topic. It caught my attention right away. In addition to all the above mentioned comments, I would like to add that Kazakhstani women are also lucky to have good conditions for maternity leave. There are not many countries in the world, where the woman can take a long maternity leave by saving her position. I had a number of foreign colleagues, who mentioned that it is the only country they know which has such practice. Of course, not all of them were supportive of this policy, because they were annoyed by the fact that the position is not only kept for a certain period of time, but the person on maternity leave also has the right to come back any time she wants changing her initial plans for the leave. This made me better value the legal support working mothers have from the Government.
Dear Zhuldyz,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. Indeed our government provides plenty of facilities for maternity. However, there are issues with accomodayion provision of young families. It would be great if the government provided all young families with accomodation. On the other hand, thanks for all we have for now. Hopefully things will get better in the future.
Dear Malika,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your ideas and bright examples.You and many married GSE Ladies are examples of Successfull Women Leadership! You are showing us, that family and career are combinable ingredients, moreover its is quite manageable and feasible tasks. In fast developing reality it is essential to be professional as an employee and happy as a women. It is a story of balance and planning. I remember in 2008 during my trip to USA, I was renting a room in one day having discussed with me my plans my house- owner said: "My little, please be realistic it is impossible to have career and family. It's too pricy. Only few people can afford that". Now I understand that Kazakhstan is place of that "few", since here we have hundreds of good patterns. ;)
Dear Bagdagul,
DeleteTo be honest, indeed it is pricy and thorny to lead both lives. However, such recherche life is worth all effort and expenses. As the proof of the pudding is in the eating, knock yourself out! I'm sure you will love it!
Dear Malika,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this post. Basically, capability to handle all the duties like child-carrying, cooking, cleaning house, working etc.seem to be almost impossible. But a person is confident that she will hadle everythinh, then it is achievable. It depends on woman's perceptions and power. If she has good organization (time management) and she is strong in personality (convinced that she wants it and confident about keeping the balance between a family and work) - woman can do everything. No doubt!
Dear Didara,
DeleteWe've got the power! However, it is not enough without the support from a spouse or relatives. Thus, I am very grateful for my mother-in-law, who helps me to look as a superwoman.
Wow, this is one of the most passionate posts I have read here so far. It was like reading an article in some glossy magazine dedicated to women =) Thank you for this, Malika! Although I am not a mother yet, I tottaly agree with you that motherhood is not an obstacle for career or self develpment and nowadays more and more young mothers proove that by opening and leading their own business being on maternity leave.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I am glad that single students are more interested in this topic. It shows the strong willingness of our students to contribute both to the demographic and educational developments of Kazakhstan. I am proud of our girls. By the way, I am happy to inform you that next year there will be more mother-students in GSE. Wait and see.
DeleteMany women who got married and have children say that it is impossible to combine the family life with work or study but they do. Although sometimes you feel stress and tiredness, you are endlessly happy because you are given the opportunity to be a wife, mother and a successful woman. You feel that you are not alone in your way to success. Your family are proud of you and it gives you support, and motivates you to go further. You understand that your children need a self-realized mother. If you achieve this, you will be able to help them to succeed in their future.
ReplyDeleteWonderful words Lyazzat. I completely agree with you!
DeleteThank you, for such interesting topic! Kazakhs said “Әйел бір қолымен бесік тербетсе, екінші қолымен әлем тербетеді”(Woman with one hand swings a cradle, with another swings the world!). I think nowadays it becomes a normal thing to take both business and family but without support of our family and husbands, it might be a nightmare. I wish You success, health and to be happy woman, lovely mother and wife!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Indeed there are so many mot juste kazakh proverbs! Wish you also happiness in both lives!
DeleteDear Malika,
ReplyDeletethank you this creative, interesting and inspiring post! I admire your outstanding writing style, you can be a prolific journalist, no doubt! I especially liked the idea to write about the women who we know as respectful professors and qualified professionals. It was interesting to know them from the side of mothers and to get a little piece of their wisdom on how to combine home and work responsibilities. For me it was very inspiring, I hope one day I also will become such busy mom))
Dear Malika,
ReplyDeletethank you for your post! Thank you for touching up these very sensitive theme.
You are my motivation. Whenever I am tired and say to myself that it is too much for me, I look at you. You are always smiling, never procrastinating, inspiring and easy-going. I have never heard that you are tired and you are lack of sleep! You are amazing!
You topic also is very inspiring. I know how hard it is to manage maternity with studying in one of the most prestigious universities in our country. I agree, that Mrs. Kuzhabekova and Mrs. Parmenter are the best examples and role models for us. I cannot imagine my life neither without GSE nor without my children. I love my life as it is. And when it is hard, just like now, I just keep saying to myself, that without GSE I wouldn't be so happy. And then just smile and say, happy women- happy children.
Hope that every woman will find her own path and will be happy!
This is the last day of summiting several assignments: NU Writers Guild blog posts, Comparative Education final essay and others. Despite the fact I'm trying to finish all requirements on time and fulfill my posts, I could not shut down my computer without reading this interesting post.Actually, I've seen majority of these people in real life. I really adore and love these big families.
ReplyDeleteI do understand how it is arduous to handle with several things simulteneously from my sister; she is also of such kind of persons who has strong power and unique character.
Dear, Malike, I believe in your success in the future. Wish you good luck and happy times a lot!