Dealing with a quarter life crisis
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Whenever people were saying about the age crisis I could not understand them at all. I thought crises may happen only if you had sad experience as a precursor. Unfortunately, I was sooo mistaken.
Recently, I found that my nicely behaved son had become a mean monster. Only few weeks ago I was thinking about my great mother job, as I thought I bred up a very positive guy who is very well-mannered. Then suddenly he becomes very anxious and stubborn, always replying “no” to any requests. Immediately after I noticed constant negative behavior, I consulted to the psychologist who asserted me about so-called the three years old age crisis. To say that I was surprised is to say nothing. What kind of crisis could he have if he has a wonderful life, full of joy and happiness (in my opinion). By reading a few books about early childhood psychology I quickly found out what to do, but the idea of having age crisis is following me by now.
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Having thought about the behavior, daily mood, stress and other psychological characteristics, I realized that I am having age crisis too. I also feel ancious about my future job opportunities, about the education of my children, about relations with my husband, family and friends. I found that I do not want to go out a lot, as it was before, I want to spend all my free time with my family. But on the other hand, sometimes daily routine irritates me. I realized that I am a mature adult, that have soooo many responsibilities, but I still want to be a teenager. I have numerous doubts in my head, for example, should I start taking supportive vitamins, is this my first wrinkles, Is it true that I could not find a job, how could I do that things in the past or where am I going to be in a couple of years.
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The words of the Lana Del Ray’s song “young and beautiful” came into my mind: “will you still love me when I am no longer young and beautiful..?” At the same time I feel myself stupid asking such dumb questions to myself. I comprehended my mind’s complexity and felt myself at an impasse.
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Internet helped me to identify that I am having quarter-life crises. I have formulated few sings of having quarter age crisis:
· You don’t know what you are going to do after 2 years. You may be dreaming to apply for PhD programme, or to go live abroad and find better perspectives, or maybe you are thinking about changing you profession and start your own business
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- · You always postpone the time to devote to organize your thoughts in your head. You don’t know from what to start, and you wish to start new life from Mondays, but you are still indecisive.
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- · You are worrying about your wishes to spend and ability to earn. You don’t want to believe the reality
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- · You are starting to doubt whether you made right decision when you married your husband (only for married)
- · You miss your college life, you want to get that time back when you are young, free of responsibilities and inspired to change the world
- You are bored with the environment around you (family, friends, apartment)
- You compare yourself to more successful people and blame yourself for your low achievements
So… I’ve just opened my complex mind to all of you guys. I think most of you will think about the triviality of these thoughts in my head, when we should devote all our thoughts and effort to the thesis, but I think I am not alone with having a quarter life crisis. I think we should understand that it is time to finally let go of our expectations of what adulthood should be.
It doesn’t matter if your parents married at 22 or if your friend is running a successful start-up; putting too much stress on preconceived ideas of what adulthood will be is a surefire way to tank all of your optimism and hopes. Life is too short to daydream it away wishing you had someone else’s. Just remember, that life is not a race, live happy now, not expect of happy life to happen sometime in the future!!!!!!!!
Dear Aizhan, thank you for sharing your personal views and emotions. I really felt through your writing and believe me, you are not alone. I think that there is a certain period of life, when many of us start to reflect on past experiences and future aspirations. Many of us would do somethings differently or even change the direction. As I have read through the signs of having a crisis, I found myself agreeing with many points myself. Am I having the crisis too?) Women tend to overreact in situations and react emotionally more than men, and I think it is normal. I agree with you that life is too short, therefore do not overthink and relax)
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