Defining Gender

         Once together with my groupmates we were discussing the issue of gender defining. This topic brought a great discussion then, later I saw the post of Ainur J on sex education at school. As a Primary School English teacher, I  find this topic really interesting because our childhood beliefs reflect in our adulthood decisions. Apart from Ainur J, I would like to share my thought about the definition of gender, its importance and impact on life, and the influence of social context on it. 

           I see the meaning of the term ‘gender’ as something which was given to us in birth and was educated by people we were surrounded by (their beliefs and attitudes). While people feel fine with what was given to them, they achieve and keep soul balance which allows and sometimes even inspires them to live, study, work, create, develop themselves, bring up children, etc. Imbalance takes place when people deny their nature, they feel that their sexual characteristics hinder and/or limit their opportunities. However, what people tend to aim at during their life is gaining harmony and agreement with themselves. This means that if a person was biologically born as a girl and she accepts that - she feels balanced; but if this girl refuses and claims herself as a male or the third gender, she is bound to have personal conflicts which bother her all the time and, consequently, she will probably spend a lot of her precious time and force to disagree with society. The same thing is likely to happen to a boy.

           I believe that sometimes the society makes up criteria for determining gender like toys for boys and girls. This helps keep the balance in the world: historically, a man is a person responsible for material things and a woman is for abstract ones (atmosphere at home, care after family, etc.). However, some people take radical sides and start creating and/or following stereotypes according to which a woman can’t work or a man can’t stay with children. In fact, both of them can do everything they want to, but they shouldn't forget that naturally they are a woman and a man.

         Personally, I am really thankful to my parents for accepting my gender and bringing up me as a girl. To do so, they bought me girlish toys such as a Barbie, iron, and cooker, told me beautiful stories about princesses, and showed a lot of Disney cartoons about them. Also, I remember a book called “Everything a girl needs to know” given for my birthday. Now it seems to me a little bit foolish, but it included a lot of useful information on etiquette, clothes design, cooking, and so on. So, my parents did their best to equip me with all those things which could be useful to me as to a person who was born female. At the same time, I remember my LEGO, bycicle, mini-copies of cars which didn’t make me feel I am a boy even if I liked them.

           I think our discussion was really interesting to me because I wouldn't have thought about the mechanisms of defining gender. It made me think of such people who find themselves as LGTB. Gender education is really important; however, it shouldn't be involved as a separate subject but some elements of it could be implemented in education process. For example, separation of girls for PT lessons and Craft, grouping students so that each of them can take their gender roles (games like “Desert Island”). 

           I am sure it will be reasonable to share our experiences before we start the discussion on the necessity of sex education at schools. So, what do you think about the issue of defining the gender? How important is it to define oneself as male or female? What has influenced you in this process?

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